Do You Know Me?

 

Do You Know Me? 

Have you felt fear so strong you coudn’t feel anymore?

Do you know the darkness that strangles out the day?

Ever seen a clown that was not really smiling?

What about the wild one that is caged?

That eerie noise that you can’t place?

A betrayal that destroys promises?

Ever felt your soul ache?

The voice with no body that cries out?

A deformed heart?

Witnessed eyes that only looked?

Taken pictures on a destructive journey?

 

If you haven’t, you don’t know me.

 

 

 

 

 

Poshmark Women’s Plus Size Clothing Information

Hey Yall! I wanted to give you my Poshmark Women’s Plus Size Clothing Information. This is a new venture for me that I am excited about! I started using Poshmark about a month ago and have had success selling there. If you are unfamiliar with Poshmark it is a free app that can be downloaded on your phone. You can browse through all types of clothing, jewelry, accessories, etc there. Some of the clothing is used while other items are new with tag. If you would be interested in checking out my closet it is here:

Jenny Laura’s Poshmark Closet

I have experimented with selling children’s clothing and a variety of women’s clothing. I’ve realized though that I really prefer to sell plus size women’s clothing. I am a plus size girl and can sympathize with how hard it is to find plus sizes in stores today! It is rare that I find a plus size on a sales rack at any store. I want to bring comfortable, affordable, and attractive clothing to women.

Below is a 22/24 floral shirt from Cato’s that I put in my closet this morning!

 

As many of you know, I have a YouTube channel called Jenny Laura. I have started making Poshmark videos to show the quality of the clothing I find when thrifting. The quality of my items is very important to me, as I want to offer the best clothing that I possibly can. The clothing items I show on my Youtube channel go into my Poshmark closet. I am hoping that by making these videos my customers will feel confident in what they are purchasing from me. If you would be interested in checking out my channel and/or my Poshmark videos, please head over to my channel linked below.  If you see anything you like while there please post in the comments section of the video. I can get that item listed in my closet in the near future for you see.  If you have any questions about my Poshmark women’s plus size clothing information please let me know. Thank you so much for your support!

I am Sad

Tonight I broke down and cried for a long time. Sometimes I am sad because everything seems to stay the same. The routine, the expectations, and the loss. While other times, everything seems to be changing around me and leaving me behind. Tonight I feel so lonely and sad. I reside  inside a dark place  that no one can find. I’m so tired of sitting back and watching everyone accomplish things in their life that I desire for myself.   At the same time, I’m tired, achy, and mentally unwell. My heart is in the right place but despite great efforts, I can’t get my gears to work. Just call me a broken down car.  Depression is a battle that I do not know how to win. My quality of life has deteriorated and I feel as if I am being destroyed in slow motion. I want to get better but even that seems like an unbelievable feat to figure out. #thestruggleisreal

 

 

Where I’ve Been

Hey Yall! I know it has been a LONG time since I have written in here. I really am very sorry. My largest excuse is that in December I contacted an AWFUL sinus infection that lasted three months. True story. 2 Doctors appointments, tons of medicine, and a hospital visit later I have finally stopped coughing. Whatever is going around this year is crazy violent. Thankfully, I did not have the flu BUT I did have a virus which is non responsive to medication. Basically I could drink tea. I got a $4000 hospital bill and the doctors advice was to go off all the meds Doctors Care gave me, take a pregnancy test, two x rays, blood draws, and an IV. They said my vitals looked a lot better before I left. I was highly dehydrated and had high blood pressure while there. Oh well it is over …..

So while I was sick I got REALLY bored (considering it went on and on and on for 3 months) . I kept seeing videos on Poshmark and decided to watch them on YouTube. Turns out, it is a free app that you can sell used clothing on. Long story short, I started like a month ago and have sold around $130 in clothing! It may not be a lot to some people but I am shocked that it has worked and that I have been continuously selling used clothing items of mine and/or that I found at the Goodwill Outlet. I am trying to save up most of the money for either a new camera or a mannequin. I recently went to the Goodwill Outlet and got $16 of clothing . I would say I got 20-30 pieces so not bad!!

Something else that has happened since I have last been with you is that I hit my YouTube 1000 subscriber mile stone. I had NO IDEA how hard I was going to have to work to get there. To hit it in under a year I believe is something to be proud of. Hopefully my channel will continue to grow. I had my 1000 subscriber giveaway on my channel tonight. I have a DIY, haul, life vlog, and Depression Awareness channel. if you would like to check it out click here.  The above picture is from the giveaway where I also showed a thrift haul. I have been thrifting quite a bit since I have been better. That has been fun.

I have continued to make DIY’s. The succulent DIY’s have been very popular. I try to make crafts with Dollar Tree products so that people can afford to make home decor. I continue to hope my passion for photography will one day come back. For now it feels as though it has taken a back seat to the content on my YouTube channel. I do not think it is possible for the average person to be extremely focused on several things. Maybe it was just meant to happen this way.

Last but not least let me catch up up on my latest legal escapades. I received SIX tickets the other day. It blows my mind that I got so many . However, with that being said, I was in the wrong. Due to being sick I totally forgot to pay my car taxes. Like I never thought twice about it because I assumed it was done. When I was pulled over I realized I was about 3 months late. Definitely a FML moment -_- . Also, ,though my insurance is up to date my card in my car was old so I got a ticket for that one. And due to not paying taxes I did not have the right sticker on my plates so there was another ticket. Continuing on with the excitement my registration was late. Thankfully, I have paid taxes, updated everything, and will be going to court to get rid of all these tickets. #thestruggleisreal.

On that note haha, I hope everyone is truly well!! It feels good to be writing again and it is something I need to get back into. I have really been thrown off from the sickness. Tomorrow is taxes time -_- . Yay. I did those the other day through Turbotax but they got rejected and then they disappeared off the website. Fun times. Anyway, I hope everyone is doing great! Hopefully things will get easier (knock on tons of wood). Thank you for being patient with me and sticking with me!!!!!! Have a wonderful night!

Pet Advent Bags

Hey Yall! I hope you enjoy this super simple DIY on how to make pet advent  bags! I was watching Cheap Crafty Girl on You Tube talk about making advent bags. She mentioned that she had heard of people making them for their pets too!! This gave me a great idea of something fun to try.  If you are unsure what advent bags are, they are paper bags that you open during the month of December leading up to Christmas with a little goodie inside. You can make just one, several, or for the entire month of December! I just made one for my pets to enjoy opening. This is what I used below:

What you will need to make this craft is :

Paper bags (I used popcorn bags from the Dollar Tree)

Scissors

Number Stickers (optional for date)

Holiday cards / one per bag (or other decorations)

Tape

One thing that is great about making pet advent bags is that you can get REALLY creative when decorating them. I did a very simple idea which was to use holiday cards as the decoration. All I did was cut the cards in half, take out the paper message from inside, and tape them to the bags. Pictured below is how I did that. My cards were from the Dollar Store. I always try to make DIYs as cheap as possible!

First I cut the card in half with my scissors. Your card may not have a separate paper piece inside that can be take out. These cards did though so I just removed that so that I could put tape onto just one piece of the card.

I thought it looked better to put a few rolls of tape onto the back of the card so that the tape could not be seen from the front of the bags. I used clear scotch tape but probably any tape or stick glue would work! I cannot explain how easy these pet advent bags are to make. I feel that even kids would enjoy decorating these. If you do not have pets you can always make these for your children or significant other. In my opinion, no one ever gets tired of opening a surprise bag! 😉

I hope you enjoyed this craft! If you make these I would love to hear about how it goes for you. Below is the video of my dogs opening their pet advent bags. If you are not a member of my channel yet I would LOVE for you to be! When you click on the video you will be taken to my YouTube channel. Please hit the red subscribe button to join my channel! Look forward to seeing you there. Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas! It has been a pleasure blogging for yall this year.

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My Pets Wish You A Merry Christmas

Hey Yall!

I wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas from myself, my boyfriend, and our pets : Charlie, Daisy, Bella, Domino, Dahlia, and of course Snuggs! Here are a few cute pictures of the pets. If I am able, I will upload pictures of ALL the pets before Christmas 🙂 Above is Charlie and below is Daisy (Chihuahua) and Domino (Kitty). Hoping you, your significant other, your family, and your pets are having a peaceful and memorable Christmas. Take care of yourself!

Daisy is always photogenic as long as I have a piece Take Out bacon treat in my hand. With that being said, Domino is an entirely different story. He does not like a camera pointed at him at any time or place. We both understand each other in this way but it does not help when I am trying to get good Christmas pictures 🙂 This was the best I could do. though a bit bright, I do think it was a cute picture!

The last picture is a random one of my boyfriend trying to eat some of his Christmas ham while he was mobbed by our pets. This is what eating on our couch in is like at night. -_-  If you would like to see a video clip of it, please click on ====> By Boyfriend Trying To Eat Christmas Ham.

Have a wonderful night and take care of yourself!

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Macaroon Holiday Home Decor

Hey Yall! I hope everyone is doing well and staying warm! I came up with a really yummy looking DIY for you. Below you will find how to make a Macaroon Holiday Home Decor for your house, coffee bar, or Christmas party. (Just make sure your guests know you can’t eat the ornaments). What I love about this craft is that it can literally be used year round but gives your house a sparkly whimsical feeling during the holidays. Please check out my YouTube video at the end on making this macaroon holiday home decor. Enjoy!

This is a very simple and affordable holiday craft! All you need to make this holiday macaroon decor is listed below:

3 Macaroon ornaments (I got mine from Walmart for 98 cents each) 

one small plate 

1 candle stick 

E6000 (or other super glue) 

How to make it:

First, turn your plate upside down.  Squeeze E6000 around the top of your candle stick. Then turn the candlestick upside down so that the top of the candlestick is resting on the bottom of the plate, like pictured below. I believe I let mine dry over night but I believe it may only take 30 minutes or so.  I would NOT recommend using hot glue to glue your candlestick to your. Since you are working with glass and heavier items I would recommend a glue that is stronger like E6000 to ensure that your dessert stand is secure.

Once your E6000 glue has dried, flip it right side up so that your dessert tray can now stand. Now, it is optional if you want to hot glue your macaroons together or not. If you are going to do so, I would first set them on top of your dessert stand and mark with a pencil where you want the glue to go. I stacked mine in a pyramid shape. My macaroon holiday home decor was not glued together for a few reasons. 1. The ornaments balanced well enough on top of each other. 2. The macaroon ornaments were not breakable. 3. I want to reuse the dessert stand in the future for other thins and felt it would be very each to remove the macaroons if they were not glued together. Remember, when you are crafting that everything is optional. Just do what works best for you!

My dogs thought that the macaroons looked good enough to eat! Much to Charlie and Daisy’s dismay, these macaroons had strings attached to them.  I hope you enjoyed this macaroon holiday decor blog! I had a lot of fun making this and felt that it turned out very well. I am going to keep it by the coffee bar during the year. I may switch out the macaroons at a later point for my cupcake candles .  Hoping everyone has a Merry Christmas. Remember to take care of yourself and of each other. Below is my YouTube video Sweet Treat Holiday Decor DIY that shows you how to make this craft. Thank you for checking it out!

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Holiday Owl Home Decor

Hey Yall! I have a very affordable and cute holiday owl home decor diy for you. I came up with this idea when I went to the Dollar Tree and saw an incense burner that looked similar to a little bird house.  Sometimes I will find an item that inspires me to make something completely different than what its purpose was intended for. I absolutely love how this turned out and hope you do too.  With Christmas right around the corner, many people are decorating to get ready. I love being able to bring yall decor that is of great quality and attractive.

What I made to make this holiday owl home decor is listed below. The majority of items (other than the glue gun) can be found at the Dollar Tree.  If you do not have one in your area, I am sure that you can find similar items at a thrift store and/or a store like Walmart.

Supplies:

1 glass candle stick

glue sticks

glue gun

E6000 Glue / Super Glue

owl ornament

apple Christmas ornament (can use anything as decor for the owl house)

Scented wax burner from the Dollar Tree

Sparkly bow sticker from the Dollar Tree

(Pictured above are also a few extra items that I did not end up adding to my owl house. You can get creative with this and do many different things with it!)

How to make this holiday owl home decor: 

The first thing I would recommend doing is putting a layer of E6000 / Super glue around the edge of your candle stick. Then place the wax burner on top of your candle stick to dry. I would let mine dry over night before decorating the burner (a.k.a bird house). This is a very simple craft that requires a little imagination. The next step I did was to hot glue my apple Christmas ornament to the top of the bird house. The sparkly gold leaves I glued to the edges of the house. Inside the wax warmer, I placed my little owl inside. He fit perfectly ! Voila, you have an adorable holiday home owl decor.

Please check out my YouTube video below on my Holiday Owl Home Decor DIY. I hope you enjoy and are having a wonderful day.

 

Dark Day

Today, I woke up feeling like my dog had died. I just felt down inside and knew immediately that this was going to feel like a dark day. There does not have to be a reason or a cause behind why I get like this. I’m getting to the point where this feels like a state of mind I constantly stay in. It’s sad and unfair because I am one of a minority of people that is actually trying to get better. I see people that are happy, energetic, and have the world ahead of them.  Many people before me and after me have gone to college and gotten degrees to hang on their wall. My wall looks pretty dam bare though. A piece of paper is not really going to make me feel good enough though. I was never validated as a kid. I don’t recall my mom ever saying she was proud of me, asking what I wanted to become, helping me set goals, etc. I’ve had to fight tooth and nail to get where I am but where exactly is that?

My marriage failed

School has failed

I’ve quit tons of jobs

If single, even working full time, I am limited to renting a single room in Charleston WITH roommates

Major debt

Alone. I feel so fucking alone. I miss my grandmother. I miss my siblings. I miss the phone calls.

What have I accomplished you ask? 

I can pack my life into a car

Feeling a level of fear that most people never get near

I have an Associates Degree that has done NOTHING for me(that I’ve been paying off for 6 plus years I believe)

Survived chronic bronchitis, pneumonia , and mono

Finding a counselor and Psychiatrist and trying to stick with them, despite having no insurance

Continuously cleaning my boyfriends house (laundry, dishes, floors, bathrooms, etc.)

Started a YouTube Channel “Jenny Laura”

Maintain a relationship, despite my depression

 

I’m tired of life being this level of fucking hard. I can’t afford college, I qualify for a minimum wage job at best (and that is IF I can land it), I don’t have one good friend in SC, I’m almost 30 with no children, it has become appealing to be completely isolated, I’m paranoid all the time that I will see my mom in a store, I rarely see family, I can’t afford my car payment/insurance payment/loan payment/phone payment/credit card payment, none of my pets are up to date on their medical treatment, my boyfriend and I are both un employed currently, I live in SC which I hate, and life just is feeling pretty pointless. My soul continues to hurt for things that I cannot fix, that I will never be able to fix.

If it sounds like I am stomping my feet and throwing a tempter tantrum I AM. I’m so over everything. I’m thankful for my boyfriend, my pets, food in the fridge, and a home. I don’t take any of that for granted because I have experienced the exact reverse. But the reality is that I am not married. I could blink my eyes and even the above could all go away.  I’ve come to the realization that everything good is over all, temporary.

If you think I sound depressed, I AM. This is why I write because it helps me get it out. And ironically, maybe my darkness can be perceived as light for someone in a similar state of mind. When you feel less alone, you feel comforted in a way that you cannot make yourself normally feel. I can eat and drink my pain but when I find someone who has suffered trauma and abuse, it is like drinking a cup of warm sweet coffee. This may sound insane but when trauma meets trauma, there is a special bond and understanding. Only a few people will probably get this.

Anyway, sorry to be such a downer. I just needed to get this off my chest as clearly, I am having a dark day. I hope one day they get a little brighter. Even dim would be ok. All this darkness is really wearing on my. I need to really spend some time praying about all this. I have faith that God can not only take away but he can give. If I learned anything from the grief class I took, it is that God “loans” us people that are special to us in our life but there comes a time when we must return them back because they belong to him. Every time I ask myself WHY I need to tell myself that. He didn’t TAKE anything or anyone, as each and every one of us belongs with him. He has a safe and beautiful place prepared for us and those we love that must go home. The biggest comfort is knowing that I will see people again. That this is not the end. Because if it was, I honestly would be done as a person.

Thank you for listening, loving, and supporting. Even on the dark days when it hurts.

 

 

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Hot Chocolate Bar

Hey Yall! I watched a fellow YouTuber’s Channel, Cheap Craft Girl ,  the other day and became inspired to make a Hot Chocolate Bar in my kitchen! I hope that you enjoy this simple and yummy DIY! As we near December, the weather is becoming perfect for hot chocolate. I currently am drinking a cup as I write this blog.

What you need to make your hot chocolate bar: 

3 jars (I used 2 mason jars and one larger jar)

mini marshmallows

peppermint sticks (could also use crushed peppermint or peppermint bark)

KCup Hot Chocolate Cups OR Hot Chocolate Mix

 

Making this little hot chocolate bar is extremely simple. Load your jars with your ingredients (marshmallows, peppermint sticks, KCups/hot Chocolate Mix, etc.) I set my hot chocolate bar up right next to my Keurig but you can put it wherever you think it works on your kitchen counter. I will say that if use KCups, you will probably have several extra ones that will not fit inside your jar.  I decided to use my cute little snow man cookie jar to put my extra KCups in. Not only does this add an adorable factor to your hot chocolate bar but it works very well for storage!

Hoping everyone has a peaceful day and stays warm. Remember to sprinkle kindness around like confetti and share a cup of your hot chocolate with a friend, family, and/or neighbor. My YouTube video on my Chocolate bar is located below. Feel free to check it out. Until next time, cheers!

 

 

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