I am Sad

Tonight I broke down and cried for a long time. Sometimes I am sad because everything seems to stay the same. The routine, the expectations, and the loss. While other times, everything seems to be changing around me and leaving me behind. Tonight I feel so lonely and sad. I reside  inside a dark place  that no one can find. I’m so tired of sitting back and watching everyone accomplish things in their life that I desire for myself.   At the same time, I’m tired, achy, and mentally unwell. My heart is in the right place but despite great efforts, I can’t get my gears to work. Just call me a broken down car.  Depression is a battle that I do not know how to win. My quality of life has deteriorated and I feel as if I am being destroyed in slow motion. I want to get better but even that seems like an unbelievable feat to figure out. #thestruggleisreal